When nobody was looking, Disneyland went and upped their food game to unheard-of levels. Gone are the days of mass produced sub par offerings, and here to stay are delicious, decadent, make-you-wanna-go-home-and-slap-yo-mama indulgences. Feel free to fall off the diet wagon and cram these treats down your food hole.
5. Slow Cooked Beef Poutine — Red Rose Taverne, Fantasyland
When Disneyland switched the main Fantasyland eatery to a Francophonic Beauty and the Beast themed spot, literally nobody saw this coming. Gravy-covered waffle fries with cheese curds and pickled onions, all come together for a carb-fest you only knew in your dreams. Yes, the Canadian visitors might whine that it’s not “authentic poutine, eh” but whatever. Take off, you hosers… this dish is what’s up.
4. Bacon Street Dog — Award Weiners, Disney California Adventure
Basically, if Moses, Buddha, and Anthony Bourdain got together and designed a hot dog… it would still come in second place to this badboy. Red pepper ketchup under grilled onions and peppers, driven home with bacon crumbles on top. It’s worth the hike across the plaza to DCA just to get one of these suckers in your face. Pro tip… finish it off with the Funnel Cake Fries topped with Raspberry Coulis and whipped cream. You won’t regret that decision (until the next time you step on a scale.)
3. Mickey-Shaped Beignets — Cafe Orleans, New Orleans Square
Your choices when it comes to beignets at Disneyland are simple. You can go wait in line at Jazz Kitchen Express in Downtown Disney with the tourists and pudknockers for some square beignets made about an hour ago. Or, you can sit in the beautiful Cafe Orleans and finish off your Montecristo sandwich with these fresh beignets that come with house made fruit coulis and vanilla bean creme anglaise. The choice is easy… you take the second option and promptly tell your diet to go screw itself.
2. Maple Leaf Duck Breast — Carthay Circle Restaraunt, Disney California Adventure
Full disclosure, you should not eat at Carthay Circle Restaraunt unless you are legitimately prepared to drop $100 or more on dinner. This and the Blue Bayou are hands-down the two swankiest joints at the Disneyland Resort. However, if you do have that kind of scratch to throw down on dinner… this is your jam. Fatty, juicy duck breast on top of crispy yucca, avocado, and almonds and mixed with a locally sourced plum relish. It’ll make you proud to be from California, even if you’re not. This is definitely one to write home about.
1. Strawberry Streetcar Sundae — Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor, Main Street U.S.A.
Seriously, do you people think this is a game or something? Do you not get how Disneyland food works? There is no reason on Earth for you to not accept the fact that you deserve this. In fact, why are you even AT Disneyland if you’re on a diet? Take that nonsense back to Michigan, Diane. We don’t need your negativity. This is Carnation vanilla ice cream with strawberries, the syrup to match, cherries, and whipped cream — in a freakin’ waffle cone. A waffle cone, people. This is not a drill, this is Disneyland.