As much as we love watching the potpourri of train wrecks Teen Mom brings us, hidden in the circus are a few clowns who deserve their own show.
5. Catelynn Lowell’s Father-In-Law Butch
If there’s anything harder to follow than the entangled familial relations of Catelynn and Tyler‘s world, it’s the frenetic ramblings of Tyler’s dad Butch Baltierra. His journey of recovery has been inspiring, but his shoot-from-the-hip honesty is absolutely binge-worthy. Don’t even send him anywhere special or set up storylines. Just let Butch do Butch and it’ll be the best TV any of us can imagine.
4. All Of The Employees At Farrah Abraham’s Yogurt Shop
Farrah’s life is basically one big slow motion dumpster fire covered in silicone and bad eyeliner. Somewhere along the line, she decided she was a business owner and opened a frozen yogurt shop. She immediately proceeded to verbally abuse the employees and violate every Labor Law in the state of Texas. We are begging MTV to place cameras in this shop and chronicle the daily struggle of these poor kids. Show her accosting an employee for no reason, then cut to the interview clip of the eye roll and “thiiiiiiiis bitch…” Just give them the Emmy now.
3. Maci Bookout’s Ex Ryan Edward’s New Wife Mackenzie Standifer
If ever there was a struggle that’s real, it’s Mackenzie’s struggle. Think about it. She’s dealing with the ultimate in baby mama drama since Maci is pretty much indestructible and Ryan is a disaster. Throw in Ryan’s inability to take care of himself without his parents, and his raging Xanax addiction — and it’s a wonder Mackenzie is still sane. We would absolutely watch Mackenzie try to keep it together every single week, as we take notes. Because that is one strong woman.
2. Briana DeJesus’ Sister Brittany
To put Brittany in front of the camera and let her literally just pass judgment on anything placed in front of her, would be the greatest thing to happen to television since the invention of the remote control. If there’s one thing we’ve learned about the world of Briana… it’s that Brittany does not give a sh*t. We could sit and watch Brittany’s clapbacks on an endless loop for the rest of eternity.
1. Leah Messer’s Ex Husbands (Both Of Them. Together.)
If there was ever a personification of yin and yang, it’s Corey Simms and Jeremy Calvert. On one hand, you’ve got Corey with his act completely together. On the other hand is Jeremy fumbling through life with a flashlight and half a sandwich. Both of them share the common bond of having put up with Leah’s crap. Take these two and send them on the wackiest road trip of all time. Let them tour restaurants, theme parks, lumber yards… we literally do not care. We just want to see the two of them together on the weekly.