Most Americans Are Too Stupid For An Election Year Interest Rate Hike

federal reserve
Written by Michael Peckerar

With the news of an impending interest rate hike from the Federal Reserve, it’s a good idea to buckle up and prepare for a big parade of stupid from much of America.

It’s common knowledge that your average Republican voter these days is not terribly educated and more than likely flunked Social Studies more than a few times.  It’s a shame, because the GOP didn’t used to be that way, and was once the haven for very business-savvy and economically-minded fiscal conservatives.  There was a time when having an economic debate with your average Republican voter was to fight above your weight class. It was pretty much their wheelhouse.

Not anymore, though.  Nowadays, listening to an average Republican voter talk about the economy is like watching an orangutan perform open heart surgery.  You might actually become stupider for listening to them.

Despite what you hear from the GOP, our economy is currently kicking all available ass and is the strongest it’s been since anyone can really remember. In fact, just last month, economic growth was nearly twice what was projected. Our GDP is completely off the charts right now, and we’re adding hundreds of thousands of new jobs every month.  Unfortunately, all you ever hear from Republicans is that the economy is in shambles.

If this is shambles, let us never recover.

So about that interest rate hike. The Fed will likely push interest rates up a fraction of a percent before the summer is out.  Trying to tell a Republican that this is a good thing is like trying to tell your cocker spaniel that Led Zeppelin is better than The Who. The Fed will push up interest rates to keep the economy from growing faster than accounting math can handle.  Incidentally, they lower them when we’re flirting with going broke… like the last time a Republican was in office.

Unless you’re borrowing money directly from The Fed (and why would you be?), you — as a private citizen — will hardly even notice a difference.

interest rates

“Your money’s not here. It’s in Joe’s house. That’s right next to yours…” (Photo: Getty)

Since most Republican voters were smoking in the boys room during 11th grade Econ, they don’t realize that when you borrow money from your bank, you’re not borrowing from The Fed… you’re technically borrowing from yourself. When you deposit money into your bank, it doesn’t just sit there.  Your bank lends it to people who want to buy homes or cars, or open a strip club (banks don’t judge.)  Those loans get paid back at an interest rate the bank sets based on the creditworthiness of the borrower and what they actually feel like charging.

Your deposits are federally insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC so you don’t wind up acting out the last half of It’s A Wonderful Life.  (By they way, that’s socialism. In true capitalism, you’d be on your own, Jack)

Republicans don’t get that.  They used to, but they don’t  Now you have voters freaking out because they think The Fed is going to keep them from doing a refi on their home, or getting a car loan. They’re completely clueless as to how lending works, but they freak out anyway because that’s what the New Republicans do.  They go off half-cocked about stuff they don’t understand.

Donald Trump is going to be all over this.  He’s a real estate guy, and knows how this stuff works.  In fact, he’s a failed real estate investor, so he knows all too well about defaulting on loans.  Declaring bankruptcy four times will do that to a guy.  But you just watch him pounce all over the fears of the under-educated. He’s going to tell his voters the sky is falling, and they’ll take it hook, line, and sinker.  Because where he failed as a businessman, he succeeds as a con-man.

When Hillary Clinton tries to talk some sense into people and point out that the economy is crushing it — watch how well that goes.

Unfortunately, The Fed is going to have to raise interest rates this summer.  If you remember basic econ from high school, you’d know it’s to keep the economy in check. Even more unfortunate is the fact that they have to do it now, when our country is full of dipsticks who like to shoot their mouths off without checking to see if they know what they’re talking about.

As great as it would be for The Fed to hold off until the country can handle the privilege of a mixed-system economy, they have a job to do and can’t shrug their job off because it’s an election year.

Gee, doesn’t that sound familiar?

Michael Peckerar is a Staff Writer for YMBNews, “Like” him on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @michaelpeckerar, Instagram @michaelpeckerar, or add him to your network on Google.


About the author

Michael Peckerar

Michael is a writer, commentator, horse racing enthusiast, Oxford Comma activist, unlicensed astronaut, casquetter, and can probably destroy you at Trivia Night.